hontou ni
7Aug/0625

Three recent harems I’d like to inherit

Before this blog gets too heavy on figures, I thought I'd break up the string of figure rants with a random anime post. And what better to rave about than my utopian anime pipedream a topic I dwell often upon.

Harem

Almost a dirty word in many anime fans' vocabulary, the terms 'harem series' conjure images of mindless bishoujos hurling themselves at worthless specimens of the male species for reasons unknown. But times are changing. Just as mahou shoujos are reinventing themselves to capture the wider male fandom, so are harem series getting repackaged as epic-RPGs or sci-fi to escape its ostracised tag. Of course, this entry is not going to be an intellectual treatise on the subject since I'm only interested in the harem bishoujos themselves. To paraphrase the wise Zyl, "I'll rather have sex than talk about it."

So here's presenting 3 very coveted harems of recent series that I'd like to inherit when their male protagonists die.

Hakuoro's cosmopolitan zoo harem

To be frank, this entry is inspired by Utawarerumono 17/18. SO MUCH HAREM FUN!! Just look at the merits of being Hakuoro.

- enjoy surprise road trips with your harem (1 guy XX girls!)
- sexually-repressed personal beautiful bodyguard who debones your fish
- a one woman army able to annex continents yet elegant enough to attend courtly festivities
- personal physician skilled in the use of herapetta
- an Imouto club ready to take over harem duties when the beauty of Eruruu/Karura/Touka fades
- nightly rendezvous with a ruler-bishoujo who giggles at every lame thing you spew

I'm not sure how Utawarerumono's going to end but I bet even if Hakuoro gets all beastly, his harem will still love him. Ah shiawase da.

Kyon's out-of-this-world harem

Ok technically it's Haruhi's harem but let's not sweat the details. Kyon is a harem lead I'd sell my liver to be. While his harem is considerably smaller than most, the quality of the bishoujos more than amply make up the lack in quantity. Let's take a closer look Kyon's harem.

Mikuru Kyon imouto - At least, you are 100% sure she'll going to grow up VERY hot. Her uselessness is kind of cute since it invokes all kind of alpha-male responses. Her lowered resistance to cosplaying would make married life erm more interesting. Plus the remote possibility that you are dating your sister from the future heightens the taboo exhilaration Once, you get her to divulge those winning numbers for Big Sweep, you can start Zack Island for a bigger harem.

Yuki - Tell others you have a 3 yr old near-omnipotent alien girlfriend and you'll be the envy of town. For such a moelicious girl, her maintenance is considerably low since the perfect date is a trip to the library. Passion for online games is a HUGE plus in my book too. And for Yuki, you don't have to ask for winning numbers, you ask for Zack Island.

Haruhi - Frankly, I'm not too keen to have her in the harem since she's more trouble than she's worth. Nevertheless, once one finds a way to manipulate her desires/thoughts, he's got a genie lamp in his hands. Caution: While Haruhi is more than capable of creating Zack Island, asking for it may result in gender change.

Keichii's disembowelment squad

On second thoughts, I'll pass.

Disclaimer: The author staunchly subscribes to monogamy and believes it's ok to have harems if you have only 1 wife.

Related posts:

  1. Choice harems, Stripey's picks
  2. Five recent loli-sisters of note ~ Watashiwalolisisconjanai-hen
  3. The Male Harem Lead as the Key Variable

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  1. Anga
    August 7th, 2006 - 23:17

    I want to see harem show where all girls pretend to like guy and in the end they all break up with him cruelly at middle of date. The show ends with the scene where male lead cries alone in the dark corner and girls continue life happily without him. (No, I don’t hate male leads. Much.)

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  2. Tsubaki
    August 7th, 2006 - 23:33

    The Higurashi girls are more fun. Piss one off wrongly and you’ll see your intestines on the ground.

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  3. Haesslich
    August 8th, 2006 - 00:06

    Anga: I don’t think they need to animate that – they just have to get the guys to go outside. :D Most guys know that one all too well, albeit not in a harem situation (aka: all at once).

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  4. Stripey
    August 8th, 2006 - 01:19

    Anga: LOL! I think Higurashi goes along those lines except you end up on the sacrificial altar instead of a dark dank corner. :P

    Tsubaki: Maybe they be nice and give advance warning by driving nails through your fingers instead of using their finishing moves right from onset. :) One can only hope.

    Hasselich: Maybe that’s why men take rejection better? We’re so used to it… :P

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  5. Problematic
    August 8th, 2006 - 03:59

    LOL what about Rin’s Harem? Every DUDE’s fantasy has been fulfilled!

    Psychotic Kaede!

    Goddess Rin and Sia!

    Macho/Onee-sama type Asa!

    Also near the end (for you yuri fans) ..the animators leave a lil something extra!

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  6. crimson
    August 8th, 2006 - 04:04

    Utawarerumono is the ultimate. Hanaukyo Maid Tai La Verite is as awesome too.

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  7. wontaek
    August 8th, 2006 - 07:29

    What about the Sister Princess Harem?

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  8. Skane
    August 8th, 2006 - 09:19

    I’m surprised that Stripey did not choose to shove aside Junichi and claim the Da Capo harem for himself… Aiur knows I would gladly assist him in bumping off the guy, if I get some quality time with Kotori in exchange. ;)

    As an alternative… there is the Zero no Tsukaima harem. I dunno about the future of the anime, but the novels that they are based on? *YOWZA!* You just need to find a way to bump off Saito, and you will get Siesta, Louise, Kirche, Siesta, Tabitha, Jessica, Siesta, Henrietta, and did I mention Siesta? So far Siesta has been very, VERY restrained in the anime. *Snark!*

    Cheers.

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  9. Crusader
    August 8th, 2006 - 16:39

    Although there was no attempt by Stripey to usurp the Da Capo Harem, it is not suprising. The Heart of Stripey is ever fickle though he will always have room for Nauzron. I dare say that Sister Princess was a forgone conclusion since he “claims” to not have seen it yet, but he is now severely blinded by the Mikuru-beam and his fevered wish that Mikuru and Kyon’s Imouto are one and the same. Utawaremono must be because he wishes to expand his title beyond meido-loli-sis-con, too what category I shall not say due to lack of conclusive evidence. Doesn’t thine ring allow her to find thee and in the darkness bind thee. Well I guess you have the right to dream and keep dreaming, as if Zyl is going to let you within ten feet of Yuki-san. Also how dare you slant our revered Lady Haruhi-sama? Repent! =P

    On another note I have reviewed the evidence (Boku wa imouto ni koi wo suru) and am thoroughly convinced that your sis-con runs much deeper. While you harp its glory, my fury at that slacker Yori had me howling with rage a second run after some Keroro Gunso did not abate my hatred. Buying a pet instead of adopting only added to his greivous sins. Still if you ever fell in real life I will still do you the courtesy of a false identity after a mandatory sterilization (if you want kids at that point you can certainly adopt). Pull a Yori and the only mercy you shall recieve will be delivered from the end of a rifle. Good drama though sampathy for Kusunoki, pity for Iku, and hatred at Yori.

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  10. Crusader
    August 8th, 2006 - 16:41

    Wow, the search and Rescue alarm just went off. You have been behaving, right Mr. Stripey? ;)

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  11. Stripey
    August 8th, 2006 - 20:53

    Problematic: Heh thanks for bringing up Rin’s harem. Actually I like it mainly for Primula! LOL! (Don’t get me wrong, I’m not lolicon really.) I didn’t quite include on this list because it’s not as recent as I hope it would be. It’s certainly in my top 5 harems of all time though. :)

    crimson: Oh you saw La Verite? How was it? I caught Hanaukyo Maid Tai and not La Verite… was rather scarred by meido series after that. :P

    wontaek: Oops can’t comment since I haven’t seen it….. I heard lovely things about it though. :)

    Skane: Oh yes, DCSS is my top all-time harem, better than even Da Capo’s because of Alice and Tamaki (despite have points off for replacing Yoriko w Misaki) I shd do a top 5 harem list sometime :)

    Crusader: LOL! Wonderful that you caught Boku wa imouto koi wo suru! Good stuff eh? :P Maybe we can have a SHnY spin off along those lines with Kyon and Mikuru… Haruhi can be Kunosaki. :)

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  12. XelloS^_-
    August 8th, 2006 - 22:04

    i am suprise no one mention FSN and the other type moon harems.

    or the first modern day harem form Tenchi Muyo.

    Ayeka (great Aunt), Ryoko (predeccesor for Kaura) and Sasami (first know loli in a harem)

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  13. wontaek
    August 8th, 2006 - 23:12

    Hey, if we are starting to talk about quality of Harem, let’s not ignore the series that gave us the term ‘Harem’, Uruseiyatsura! The only problem is that all girls except one loath the male character for lustily pursuing them; well Oyuki would not mind a quickie or two if the moment is right, but of all the women in the series, she is the one who makes everyone’s hell freeze when she gets ticked off. When it comes to number, quality, or diversity, no anime series came close to this one; well, it helps if you have 218 TV episode, 7 movies, and 10+ OVA episodes plus some other stuff in the original manga and countless dojin works.

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  14. Crusader
    August 9th, 2006 - 00:08

    SHnY spin-off based off Boku wa imouto koi wo suru, blasphemous! Kyon may have inadvertantly led on Mikuru and Yuki-san, but in all fariness he has no other choice but to be claimed by our our revered Lady. He could never repel wrathful Haruhi-sama firepower of that magnitude. The villanous Yori however is prone to making hit and runs on smitten otome and pressuring the overwhelmed Iku. Having Kyon lose his sharp wit and sarcasm for relocation of all thought processes to the groin and half hearted attempts at going all the way or fevered denial. I prefer my intrepid heroes to be somewhat redeeming, not unorganized grabassitic pieces of amphibian shit with 150 pounds of chewed bubble gum to fill that empty void between the ears that are not even worthy enough to prevent rocks from getting sunburn and can stink up the span of a 3 mile bridge. Yori forced about the end of a friendship for no real gain, to add insult to injury intercourse for this unprincipled scoundrel is hardly abouot love but the triumph of his will over his unwitting victims so far as to try something in a place of sanctuary. Sis-con is not a crime being unscrupulous, spiteful, inconsiderate, and spineless is. All is fair in Love and War, but not all is right. Besides if you want to runaway so badly you could always join the USMC to collect yourself, if you’re broken the Drill Instructor will fix you.

    Kyon becoming a villan is like Greedo shooting first. Besides the only one who can ever grant the fullfilment of your desire is the author, Haruhi-sama, and God. Boku wa imouto koi wo suru is drama, SHnY is anything but. Mixing the two is like beans and eggs for breakfast, and yes I know its an English Breakfast. Now lets have no more of this fanciful wishing on your part. If God wanted you to have a Sis-con Kyon he would have miracaled it. Now go back to your studying your tomes given to you by Darth Moyism, Dark Saber is not going to admire herself. ;)

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  15. Stripey
    August 9th, 2006 - 23:50

    XelloS^_- : You touched a soft spot in my heart….. I think my harem tendencies all began when I caught Tenchi Muyo on TV ten years ago….

    wontaek: Haven’t seen Uruseiyatsura! myself. My personal warped definition of harem is actually many girls like one guy (anything more than 2 is many for me :P ) May take a peek at Uruseiyatsura! sometime but it sure looks like a daunting series to cover. Thanks for the highlight. :)

    Crusader: LOL! I took your advice and went on to admiring…. Sherrice! Nothing like the newest concubine in the palace… :P

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  16. crimson
    August 10th, 2006 - 00:10

    stripey, la verite is VERY different from the old maid tai. I can only promise you that :P
    La Verite is like a new version of previous maid tai. After watching La Verite, you can pretend its predessor didnt exist.

    But i guess as usual i like (pronounced as ‘ligh’ in a clear slow low intentional tone) the 3 sisters in charge of the master’s rest.

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  17. greyscalefuzz
    August 11th, 2006 - 08:44

    Sighs, the state of your mind these days,you’re gonna end up seeing harems whereever you look. :P

    Oh hey, come to think of it, why aren’t there guy harems, like some kind of a sausage farm for a single girl or something? (oh wait… sounds like Ouran is it…)

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  18. Stripey
    August 11th, 2006 - 09:06

    crimson: That’s it! grabbing La verite next. :) Thanks for the heads-up!

    greyscalefuzz: LOL! bro, sausage farm sounds sooo… never mind. :P There are reverse harems. :) The most recent of note beside ouran (which I’m enjoying a LOT) is Saiunkoku Monogatari. A very worthy female harem lead surrounded by emotional bishies who tear at the slightest thing and male tsunderekkos. Quite a buffet spread actually. :)

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  19. wontaek
    August 11th, 2006 - 10:34

    Basics, basics. If you really think about it, before UruseiYatsura, overall number of male characters in all anime combined was far greater than female characters by margin of more than 2:1. The reason was that super-robot series and other action or sports series dominated the screen, and even the anime geared towards female audience had more male characters so the female lead can have a choice. Candy Candy is a good example of having multiple male characters attracted to the main heroine. For more recent and well known example, Fruits Basket would be a good example, as there should be no reason why there are so many males compared to females in that series.

    Saiunkoku Monogatari is of somewhat different case: This is a story about a female character breaking the gender barrier and excelling in field dominated by males. It would be unrealistic to have many female characters in this series. Ouran also uses plot devices to explain why Haruhi is the only female of this club, but this is a series about relationships and it is this asymmetry which drives the plot, while Saiunkoku’s asymmetry arose because of the plot: If the king and some of the high ranking officials did not have an interest in Ko Shuurei, there would not have been a reform to allow female entrance into government beauracracy, and she can’t make it in the government without help from other male characters in similar status. I don’t know how the series will end, but entrance of another female into goverment should be part of the ending were it to maintain the plot consistency.

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  20. XelloS^_-
    August 13th, 2006 - 14:21

    can’t believed no one mention the Harem form King of Bandit Jing. The guy has a girl (CUTE) in every city.

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  21. wontaek
    August 14th, 2006 - 00:36

    Definition of Harem requires many of the girls to be present under one roof some of the time.

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  22. crimson
    August 14th, 2006 - 05:15

    i tend to agree with wontaek’s definition :P

    having a gf in each state or country is a different situation.

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  23. Stripey
    August 16th, 2006 - 06:26

    wontaek: I believe the women-power theme would be a very small part of the series. The female exam is exact as you say, a plot device to make Shuurei involvement in all these credible. Saiunkoku has a very epic feel. I haven’t been catching up w the later eps but I’m under the impression that the 19 yr old king is first going to quell internal dissent, gather his very own fabled 8 (?) and go on to fighting external threats; rising beyond the legendary status that first king enjoyed. At least that’s what I hope the 39 episodes would be made of. :)

    XelloS^_-/crimson: As for harem definition, as long as more than 2 girls fawn over the lead in each other presence, it’s harem for me. :)

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  24. Xellos-_^
    August 16th, 2006 - 13:23

    He doesn’t live with any of the girls but he does steals thier heart in every Ep.

    But i had to mention since Jing is one of my favorite anime series and Next Xellos, Jing is my fave male character. And all those girls are so cute :D

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