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[Stripey] 10 anime bishoujos I don’t want to meet in RL (U15 edition)

Stripey — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 18:17:46 +0000

Sorry Feito chan, for both our sakes, it's best we don't ever meet...

"Ahhh, I'm SOOO glad I didn't meet her in real life!" has been one of those dominating mental outbursts of late while watching anime. It began with my reliving the great Starlight breaker scene in Nanoha movie lst, culminating to the hair-raising Beast-mode battle in Evangelion 2.22. (Those outbursts were for Fate and Rei respectively in case you're wondering). Maybe 2D bishoujos in full HD glory lets one in on TOO much geometric details. (Curves, figures etc). Especially hazardous for honourable tanukis are those under 15 beauties which anime is SO great at crafting.

Anyhow, it's with thanksgiving that I present 10 anime bishoujos I haven't met and pray will NEVER meet in real life.

Listed in ascending order of danger...

10. Yuta Kanami (SCRYED)

8 year old Kanami is so kind and wonderful, I'd marry her in a heartbeat. I would run afoul of the law in my country of course. I understand that the inmates have 'special' treatment for those perceived as 'lolicons'....

09. Sumeragi Kaguya (Code Geass)

If our first encounter went the same way as her first meeting with Lelouch, I'd agree to her marriage proposal. She's just too darn cute/hot. Wait did I just describe some 13 yr old as hot? See what anime has done to me?!?

08. Kotonoha Kokoro (School days)

Bad things happen when you think your girlfriend's underage sister is cuter/hotter than she is. Especially when she's is yandere....

07. Honma Meiko (Anohana)

Either I've lost my marbles or I'm being haunted. Both are rather poor scenarios. I'd rather not meet her even though she's the cutest light-haired loli I'm seen in 2D in a while.

06. Kokonoe Rin (Kodomo no Jikan)

Precocious little girls and hot blooded male teachers are a recipe for more stripes on a tanuki's tail. I'd rather ask for a transfer to a boy's school.

05. Ayanami Rei (Evangelion)

Zyl once saith, "If Rei was consider loli, all men would be lolicons". I agree. But I doubt this would be valid mitigation before a Singapore judge. Uncle Stripey says it's better to dig out your eyes if you do meet RL Rei than to risk a special course of inmate treatment.

04. Gretel (Black Lagoon)

To meet RL Gretel is also to gaze upon the deepest sins of humanity in its rawest form. The mere attempt to comprehend the evil that made monsters out of little girls would like break me. Plus, she could be Hansel under a wig.

03. Fujisaki Nadeshiko (Shugo Chara)

This post explains it. It's always the most beautiful ones ain't it?

02. Sengoku Nadeko (Bakemongatari)

Nadeko oozes irresistible sexuality only to be amplified by her girlish innocence. It should be made a crime for 13 yr olds to frolick in sheer negligees on their beds. No, a RL Nadeko would undoubtedly result in a referendum to lower the age of consent. (Maybe it's a good thing that women makes up 51% of the world).

01. Fate Testarossa (Lyrical Nanoha)

"Sizzling hot" and "9 year old" are terms that shouldn't even be on the same page, much less used to describe the same hottie. I blame, the alluring short skirt, the matching boots, the strategic ribbons and blond twin tails but ultimately I blame tanuki DNA. She's just so right but the age makes it all so wrong. Pls oh pls Haruhi, NEVER let me meet RL Fate...

Next, 10 anime bishounens I don't want to meet in RL... Hmm looks like Nadeshiko gets a spot again... XD

[Stripey] Amagami SS tribute – Shizuka Itou does idols right

Stripey — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 15:26:33 +0000

Morishima Haruka

After much of the fabled tanuki dallying, I finally completed Haruka's arc (Amagami SS). Well, you know what they say - Love the bishoujo, loathe the show. Okay, I don't actually hate the arc but lament deeply Haruka senpai's squandered charm in a poorly paced, semi-coherent attempt at a character-centric love story.

Fortunately, since effervescent school idols have a very special place in a tanuki's heart, I still managed to enjoy Amagami largely to due Haruka loveliness made possible only by her seiyuu - Shizuka Itou.

If Kugimiya Rei is the Kerrigan of all stuttering tsunderes, then Shizuka sensei must be the Overmind of school idols. Since I have little good to say about Haruka's arc, this post is devoted to singing the praises of Shizuka sensei's 2D idols that tanuki-kind so love. In no order of preference,

A) Morishima Haruka (Amagami SS)

I nodded furiously when Junichi's friend said even the gravure idols couldn't hold a candle to Morishima senpai.

B) Miyabe Momiji (Wagaya Oinarisama)

Her song at the school festival (episode 13) is one of the most rewatched scenes in the tanuki household.

C) Enomoto Kei (Hatsukoi Limited)

It says a lot that I prefer Kei over her loli (albeit older) sister. Can you blame me for wanting only the best for her?

D) Katsura Hinagiku (Hayate no Gotoku)

Hinagiku (like Shizuka sensei) is one of the many things that heretical Zakus and warring tanukis agree on. Boy, is Hina on many of my lists....

Now where do I sign up for Shizuka Itou fanclub again?

[Stripey] Angel Beats! tribute – Top 10+1 light-haired lolis

Stripey — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 16:33:08 +0000

Light haired loli Tachibana Kanade

Much like the BakeMono inspired favourite romance tribute, I just had to bust out a light haired loli (LHL) list for our newest LHL bishoujo - Tachibana Kanade. Though she didn't topple the reigning LHL, her amazing blitzkrieg to top 3 is testimony to her charm.

Just to clarify certain terms before moving onto the list.

A) Light-haired - Used very liberally in this list. It ranges from light blue to white to grey.

B) Lolis -Include the lolicious even though they might be 5000 years old.

And here's my Angel Beats! tribute - A light-haired loli ranking with the fabulous Tachibana Kanade -

10) Hinoto (X TV)

Tanukis have a weakness for tragic lolis and even more when she's light-haired.

09) Gretel (Black Lagoon 2nd barrage)

Tanukis have a weakness for tragic lolis and even more when she's light-haired and gothloli...

08) Mochida Hinako (Myself, Yourself)

A lesser tanuki would have looked.... XD

07) Kirihara Kiraha (Kagihime Monogatari)

It could be the siscon, the imoutolicious charm or the light hair. Probably all of them.

06) Zefiris (Scrapped Princess)

Missed Zefy out in my last list... Never. Again.

05) Kazahana Mashiro (Mai HiME)

I must STRESS again.. Mashiro, tragic loli, from MAI HIME anime... not wannabe from the OTOME manga. XD

04) Primula (SHUFFLE!)

Step aside Kaede and Asa, Primula will ultimately triumph with her ageless body...

03) Tachibana Kanade (Angel Beats!)

The awesome LHL who inspired this post.

02) Emelenzia Beatrix Rudiger (Megadere)

Megadere was worth it because of E-chan...

01) Felli Loss (Chrome Shelled Regios)

You will ALWAYS be Stripey's Numba 1 LHL *face-rubs*

Special mentions to the following LHLs who almost made the list -

Ilya (Fate/Stay Night)

Yukimura Anzu (DCIISS)

Anju Maaka (Karin)

Echo (Pandora Hearts)

Byakki / Shiro (Wagaya oinari sama)

Of course I'm expecting Sora (Yosuga no Sora) to climb rapidly the charts come October. Not forgetting Togi Shiro who will be making an appearance in the Fortune Arterial anime this October too. Note that FA will be animated by ZEXCS/FEEL and it is surely no coincidence that the number 1 and 2 of this list comes from ZEXCS shows. I look forward to adding Shiro chan to this list.

Image credit : Goto-P

Edit - 31 August 2010 : I CANNOT believe I forgot one of the most memorable LHLs in animedom - Nia Teppelin. So I'm going to cheat and insert her to her rightful spot on the chart..

03a) Nia Teppelin (Gurren Lagann)

Sharing the spot with Kanade, Nia is one of the 3 reasons why TTGL is a great show. 1st being Yoko, 3rd being Darry.. I mean Simon XD